Brace yourselves and prepare for impact. Hide your marijuana, discard your beer, and shun your fleshly pursuits for finals are upon us, looming ghastly in the distance! There in choppy waters they stand, canons ready and crew fresh. Though you, at year’s end, stand sick and weary with collegiate exertion, prepare immediately for battle or be smote by roaring volley of papers, exams, projects, and presentations. To the library with you, young men and women of academia. Seek now your final assistance while tired professors still dribble on thirsty tongues and sleepy minds the sweet milk of knowledge.